You know youre in Dubai when...

• When a 2 lane road becomes 6 lanes.
• You wake up in the morning and open the balcony door because its cold inside.
• The cold water tap is so hot that you burn yourself.
• You walk out the front door of your apartment at 4.45am and catch a passing taxi within 5 minutes (and you think that is too long to have waited!)
• Govt. flower beds are dug up regularly at night just to change the colour scheme.
• Market vendors offer you 'genuine' fakes!
• You will only swim in chilled pools.
• You see another advert for the 'worlds largest building', or worlds largest advertisment sign etc
• Your 3 yr old tells you its time to go home after 5minutes at the park!!
• Your taxi driver has only been here for 10 days and you have to give him directions, (same driver who when he asked me how many children did I have and I replied two he enquired loudly... " your husband have problem?"!)
• When the salesmen offer you cups of tea while you browse !
• You realise too late that you cant wear lipgloss in a sandstorm!
• Two minutes of rain causes the streets to flood
• A car with it's hazard lights on can mean:

a) the car is coming to a sudden stop because of traffic
b) the driver is reversing (usually into you're car)
c) the car is stopping at a random point to pick up / drop off passengers or just have a chat on their mobile phone d) it is raining / foggy / poor visibility / generally any change from sunny weather
e) some team somewhere has won a football game. Usually accompanied by honking and passengers hanging out of windows

• You can call your local grocery and order 3 cans of coke to be delivered to your door, Same said delivery arrives, and they give you 3 cans of soda water
• You sign the receipt and tell the delivery guy that your husband will come and pay later
• You see a camel walking along a highway.
• You move into a new house you get a huge sand pit for a garden.
• You go to a dinner party at someones house and there is staff waiting for you from a local well know 5 star hotel!
• When you drive past fifty cranes in one minute and don't even notice
• When you wake up the kids to tell them it's raining
• A husband and wife holding hands in frowned on, but nobody bothers about all the blokes that walk around arm in arm.
• Your children go home and their cousins/friends show them photos of a Lamborghini and you DD/DS says my neighbour has 3 of them in his drive way!!
• You hold the door for someone and they walk right through probably assuming that you are the door man/girl ( I WANNA SLAM THAT DOOR- I now no longer wait, I just let go!)
• When you ask anybody about things being "ready", "available" or "done" and they say inshallah, that the equivalent (NOT LITERAL) translation is NO....
• There is someone to fill your petrol tank, usually with a smile
• You get to meet really interesting people from all over the world
• You wear sun factor 100
• Everything at your local store is 'seasonal' - including deoderant and cat litter
• When you have a traffic jam because there is an accident on the road in the other direction
• When walking your dogs attracts a crowd
• You're in the middle of a desert, but even in 50 degree heat, public fountains and waterfalls never stop.
• When you find yourself asking WHY there is nobody packing bags at your aisle
• When you go to the bank and and they call you MISTER, even if you are in a dress and doesn't have a beard
• You have visitors coming in JUly even though you have told them a dozen times it like living in a sauna - ************ mind them they will know all about it tomorrow!!
• When you moan about it being freezing in the mall.
• When your Mother phones EVERY DAY to ask "what temperature is it today?
• When you see an accident and you look away out of courtesy, only to see people out with their camera taking pictures.
• You always manage to start talking to the people on the table next to you in restaurants, and end up knowing the low-down on where they are from and how long, when and why they came to Dubai! (or is that just me being nosey!!)
• when... Its cheaper to eat out than cook for yourself
• when you go to pick up the car you have arranged finance on only to be told that you can't have it till they have a security cheque for the full amount.
• You get fed up of telling people from back home that yes, you can drink alcahol here, and no, you dont have to cover up like an arab woman
• You know you're in Dubai when you are offered refreshments when carrying out any business fabric shops, insurance agency, jeweler etc I think it's really sweet.
• You wander the markets alone at night and despite being the only woman in sight feel quite safe
• You can have Christmas on the beach and go for a camel ride.