Thankful

I am so glad i have such few regrets in my life for all the fuck ups!! I sleep a contended person. Thanks! for whoever is watching over me..Please continue the good work, i just feel sometimes we forget to remember when we are having a peaceful life and write only when we are in the pits. Wanted to change that. Truly, there is very little more i want in life. That's status quo, boring but that's how it is and I am happy with what i've got and i KNOW it can get bad, maybe that's why I am happy..as YET!
I am happy i have enough to share and to do things i want to do
I am happy for a lovable child, a wonderful husband, a strong family and friends who I do miss and have things to share with and know they are truly with me in thick and thin
I am happy that I can make small differences in lives and things and manage to achieve some part of it
I am happy I am at peace no matter how hard people might find it to relate!
I am happy cooking
I am happy I have time to do things i really want to do
I love the fact that my work is fulfilling and does not feel like work
I am happy I get to travel so much
I love my home
I have a great maid
I am happy I am passionate and that drives me to achieve more than what I think I am capable of sometimes, however small they might seem to some, but it gives me kicks
I am happy I have a moment to stop and appreciate the small things in life
I am happy I am growing as a person in many spheres
And I am most happy that there are so many things I don't know and I am so glad I get the opportunity to explore..be it physical, mental, emotional ....
Thank You ~

goldmine hare krisna Recipes ;-)

http://www.harekrsna.com/practice/prasadam/recipes/recipes.htm
also found this one ! this lady is unreal but fantastic stuff
http://amrabangalibodhu.blogspot.com/

Adoptive Mom? what the hell is that !@#

Adoptive Mom?
I am Mom.
I need no other label or prefix.
-Joanne Greco
I love the way some people can put words to somethings ones been trying to explain...even to oneself!

Where are you really from ?..... AGAIN ! @#$$$

It is tiring to conform to the stereotype, Indians are subjected to, here in Malaysia Apparently all Indians are Tamil, stuck in time line 1930s and dress up in lungis. If you are anything else, you must be either an Indian who is a citizen of west or a mixed breed! Grrrrrrr...

Just look at those newspapers and talk to the regular guy on the street, they have no clue beyond their nose about India. They are ill informed and moreover find it beneath themselves to get informed either. Oh no... we only ape the West, good for you! So the tedious task of tolerating rubbish becomes part and parcel of an Expat Indian' life. Not to say this shit was not there in DXB or the US but it everywhere, only here the Malays actually come right up to your face and ask, thinking their curiosity could be looked at as, interest. The Malay Indian on the other hand is a totally different ball game ( I am generalising ) I have met exceptions.

• Some don't like being Indian and Some don't know what its like to be an Indian
• They are not accepted as Malays

uh oh! Dhobi ka ...
What if we ( Indians ) say, we don't accept them as same either ??!! ooooh !!!!double trouble :) Where does that leave them?
Okay I am getting really petty now, just that i have had a particularly tiresome conversation with a Malay today.

Even more tiresome is telling people that even though my husband is fair and I am dark, we both really belong to different parts of India. No he is not a foreigner because he is fair and I am DEFINITELY not MALAYU because I am dark, for the hundredth time. If anyone assumes ,I am, one more time, I will KILL them.

• I do not speak Tamil
• I do not perform strange ceremonies that pass of as "Hindu" here
• Moreover I don't oil my hair , wear fluorescent colors and look like a tube light
• Just because I have a semblance of reasonable dress , speak reasonable Hindi and English, choose to live in a nice house, I am continuously subjected to ...

• Oh! you are Indian! ( Duh! )
  
• She must be the maid... ( what else? you limited piece of sh@t! )
  
• Oh! you speak English!!!! ( "Mainu Punjabi which gaali dene bhi aandi hai, tussi sunogey? " )
  
• Your husband is white why is your daughter black? ( a. its none of your business b. ever heard of harry belafonte? one of his songs goes like this "I was treating a girl independently, she was making baby for me, when de baby born i went to see, Eyes was blue, it was not by me ...that's right the woman is uh smarter...)
  
• But you don't speak Tamil? how come? BECAUSE I AM NOT TAMIL, I AM BENGALI, there are 28 states in India ... did you ever go to a school and pass your geography?
  
• You mean you actually eat things in India. other than idlis and dosas?? You bet!
  
• But you're "Modern"! - I apologise and rest my case ...
  

Catching up

Almost 2 months now that we'll have arrived in KL. the maid saga got over as we had to pay up in Dhaka and the much needed respite in the form of Naseema arrived! Paheli is taking her time getting used to her which was expected so i still am very much needed around, as when i am at home she won't got o anyone else!. It still is a huge relief to have someone around full time to help. Naseema seems preoccupied and is slow on the uptake now a days, maybe coz she is missing home or simply taking some time to get used to the surroundings, whatever be the case i hope it sorts out soon.

B is headed for China in a week and it will start getting lonelier than it is as of now, on the other hand one needs time on hand to feel lonely and with Paheli, there is an added dimension which changes things a lot , so i don't think we get as much time as we had expected. Its good as of now.

The trip to Bali was nice the first few days in Padang Bai. Nusa Dua is too touristy and expensive for my like. Paheli also got ill as soon as we reached so that put a bit of a damper but i was more worried if she had caught the dreaded flu! As that want the case i have to admit being roomed up in Ayodhya hotel wasn't too bad apart from the horrendous bills!!!
making friends here is turning out to be tougher than i thought, i guess like a typical metro, people are involved dealing with their own so much its hard to make time, we'll get there, coming by friends is always hard.

The house is settled but there is always this and that. I have to get back to work, starting by updating and having my site online which it hasn't been in a while and contacting Herga's bro for contracts, lets see, one thing at a time.

Been reading up a lot on Cambodia since the shipping agent in DXB told me about it. I am glad we are in south Asia and had not travelled here much other than Thailand. Being here now gives us a chance to update and get to know it better. The fact that is that being in Asia one tends to look up a lot more local news and more curious to find out about whats going on. I used to keep hearing about north Korea but only here have i actually dug a bit deeper to find out whats actually going on there. At least its a more balanced opinion when you see multiple news channels instead of the good old BBC. Korea seems to be in a total mess, one doesn't know which way one' favour should lean???!! will take more in depth knowledge.

Cambodia on the other hand seems more and more interesting on reading about the Khmer kingdom and what has happened since.
So much for now more later.
cheers!

Black and White and some in between like me ...

I've been thinking about this for a while and having been an Indian expat in a few countries i faced a fair bit of racist prejudices myself, so here it goes .... I wonder about somethings ...

When it comes to holidays people move to Asia / Subcontinent ..where

• Their money gets them more
• People are apparently more hospitable & friendly
• Culturally its enlightening
• They get "privileges" as foreigners
• They like the "food"
• They find it "interesting"
• They find it "educative"
• They find the history engrossing
• They talk about our contributions to society

on the other hand these countries only see us as cheap labour that does sub standard work...

• They think they pay us too much
• They are threatened we will take their jobs and for good measure we deserve to.. be it that we work cheap ( you get what you pay for, pay peanuts and you will get monkeys ) or be it that we are actually qualified better than them to deliver in a lot of cases
• They resent that we will take over their country with immigration, because some search for a better standard of living
• Their movies make fun of a small call center industry we host and their ignorant people think we are limited to being India, Pakistan, Afganistan, Iraq, Indonesia, Cambodia, etc etc to be all one country really and we morons actually go make stereotype megashit movies, like Indiana Jones and Transformers, block busters!
• They make money and hype out of Slumdog Millionaire and discuss our poverty over Cognacs. Apart from the fact that it does amaze me how people actually make bucks selling our misery, how disgusting is that? If it was a documentary i could buy it but for heaven' sake the movie was a masala formula well exceuted, a lot of movies have done this better maybe?
• They travel on safaris in Africa yet do very little other than changing channels when programs on gross human right violation news on countries like Burma, Korea and Africa come on
• That a lot of expats couldn't survive if cheap maids were not possible from Asian countries ( hardship allowance my fu@#ing Foot !)

Sometimes i wonder how hypocritical these guys are and then when i look back at my own roots and the divides, I know, we are the greatest hypocrites of all, as we allow this situation to fuel by being the most racist of all. We kiss their backside and kick down our own people ... huh? This world just makes no sense at all and some people should just evaporate...
On that note ... Shalom!

What is it with passports and us??

It's confirmed, it can't be that much of a coincidence. Our fate with passport fiascoes are well known in the circles but extending it to the maid who is going to join us is a bit much , don't you think ??
I was pleased as a punch That Naseema was arriving on Friday, i even cleaned her bathroom and went and arranged toiletries for her and THEN the fated call came though.The visas got through and she had her boarding pass and i thought we were set, so happily we bought and confirmed our Bali vacation.
It seems she did not have a the stamp reqd by BD immigration officials and they kept her passport, Air asia refused to compensate, so now we are down tickets, no maid, Paheli being a royal pain and oh i could rant for ever!!!! ....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
My slipped disc is giving me nightmares, 2 tranquilizers and a massage down and still no respite in sight, i wish i was younger, healthier and stronger and that days had 48 hrs to finish things in instead of 24.:
Im not looking forward to tommorrow and i wish i could get some more sleep :(
you think?

Settling in KL & some things that just struck me as awesome :)

Really have not had time to post at all, last few months have been absolutely crazy with the move and Paheli, 2 huge changes one after the other!
But both happy and good. was getting tired of living out of suitcases!
The house is all settled in KL now, I am happy with it, always wanted a home like this :). Sometimes B and i think if we ever saw our lives shaping up like this? NO... but are glad for it. We just wish we had more to share with.
Still getting used to things in KL. Some good some bad. To me it just seems like a richer India as far as the red tape, corruption and slowness goes :), but frankly there are some things that are far better back home. Things happen faster in India now a days, for instance getting a phone or Internet connection!Here its like rocket science :).
But the groceries are great and affordable, its pretty international though we haven't made any friends really, really easy to get house help and home services but the security is bad, so on and so forth.
So far we've been chilling in the evenings, Paheli hasn't let the loneliness set in at all, in fact the day starts at 8 after she is asleep!
Naseema is due to join us tonight, I am really looking forward to her helping me out, i need to get back to work, even if its only for my sanity!
Some things i was thinking about as brilliant, thought I'd jot them down and maybe I'll find it silly after 10 yrs! :)

• I think the Internet is brilliant! it makes so much possible right from home including my living
• baby monitors and baby cot combinations are so cool when you're a mum without any help, HOW ON EARTH did my mum survive without one???
• Dishwashers are a life saver!
• Digital Cameras, so convenient, its almost a whole new communication tool.
• online Forums, thank god for all the helpful information
• Online shopping, new ways to spend more :)
• Online Travel planning tools, ticketing, searches, reviews, wow! who could have thought you could have searched for a place, seen what its like, read up what others have to say, find deals on tickets, hotel, check google earth and just go, without ever needing a map, a travel agent or paper tickets and cash ?!!

Am i the only one amazed? maybe so, but i am and thrilled about it.

Been a long time since i rock and rolled :)...been a long lonely lonely...

:)
Just remembered Led Zeppelin. Funny isnt it? was thinking wht i should title when im blogging almost 5 months down the line. But the song gets its apt. Boy has life changed!! thats an understatement.
Im a mommy and with it comes a lifestyle relocation!
But honestly havent this felt as happy ever either, other than getting married.
Its been this whole learning curve everyday.
Paheli is a joy and a headacahe and im sure most parents feel that way, but amidst all this , she is, will be and always will remain the most special in my life.
Its that one that i have most prayed and worked in earnest for with a lot on stake, the only thing im sure of is no regrets. Its quite something else to nurture a life, a child gives you that special chance and she will always have the cfedit for the beaming smile i get in the morning, god i love her :), need i say more?
At times in the last few months i have felt probably the most frustrated with the society and systems and also the most weak and hopeless but i knew i was fighting for my child, what is right and in the end all is well that ends well.
Life has started a new dimesion, some good some bad, but all in all its a road to walk and with it will come discoveries, whatever lies in store is upto us to find out. Lets get on with it :).
We are relocating to Malaysia and im looking forward to it, there is awfully little i will miss about Dubai, except that i learnt a lot, mostly the hard way, we also got a much better lifestyle but these things come and go..KL here we come. For now, me and my lil family are together, growing and happy, the rest will fall into place in its own good time and i can wait.